LadyLeader Retreat Blog

What to do when life stops

If you're busy charging along in your career or running your business, you probably long to just stop and take stock.  The problem for most of us is that the momentum just keeps us going...and sometimes it's one of life's major events that finally halts us.

If you follow this blog you will know that there has been a distinct lack of activity over the last few weeks.  Put simply, the reason is that for a moment life stopped for my husband, partner and soulmate and it's likely that life will never be the same again.  Amazingly, successful resuscitation means that he is one of the 5% who has survived a cardiac arrest.  However, the journey of the last five weeks has been frought with several hurdles of complication, head-scratching, waiting, tests, and surgery... and then further surgery.

I've debated with myself if I would even share this experience in the public domain of my blog, but I've decided I'd like to share some of the things I've learned in the last five weeks - because some of them are lessons for life.

I'm not sure how many blogs I'll write about this experience, or how frequent they will be over the next few days, but if you're looking to manage your life balance better here are some things I have learned about what's important.

When something as sudden and life threatening happens completely out of the blue, it feels like falling off a high cliff and there is a sense that you're walking in someone else's shoes, apparently functioning but not really in touch with your feelings.

On of the most important things I learned very early in this process was to say "yes".  As someone who is fiercely independent, and more inclined to take a lead than wait for someone else, this was a very nurturing experience.  I was completely in shock and running on empty, and I made a conscious decision that I would say yes to every offer of help I was given.  So I said yes to the neighbour who offered to feed and walk my dog, the friends who offered me food and a warm welcome at Cafe Bevan anytime, the friend who said I could call day or night, the food that arrived for the freezer, family members who gave me tlc in all sorts of ways, the friend who sent a text near bedtime to wish me a good sleep, the colleague who asked if she could nominate me for an award 

I wonder how I can retain this willingness to say 'yes' and accept support, help and community in my business life, and also how I can use this learning in a 'pay it forward' kind of way in the future.  One thing is certain, when you are faced with the vulnerability of life unexpectedly, you become very clear about your priorities and they're not necessarily what you thought they were!!  So, when help is at hand - just say YES!

It fascinating but I've just realized my last Tweet before all this happened was one of my favourite quotes from a John Denver song:  "The moment in hand is the only thing we truly own" Enjoy the moment

Strategic refuelling

The phrase "strategic refuelling" came to my attention earlier this afternoon and is a phrase used by Robin Sharma.  It describes taking the opportunity to pull back and refuel, refresh, and take stock following a period of high performing activity.

Having recently returned after a week off, it is a compelling phrase and reminded me of my own need to step back from the busyness of business, and to continue to retain balance in the achievement of successful business outcomes.

The holiday weather included two days of snow so there was plenty of opportunity to read a range of books from novel, through biography and personal development.  Reading is one of my great escapes from the busyness and demands of life.  I was able to absorb myself in the story of women on the Oregon Trail, and having stood on that trail personally, to imagine the struggles and challenges they faced in a harsh and unforgiving environment.  I was able to take time to reflect in my journal on the days as they passed, and on the decisions of recent days.  I was able to picnic and walk, and talk without any reference to diary or watch.

The cottage in the picture (Pitmedden Bothy) will be available from 10th July for holiday lets.  Whether in coaching with my clients, or in providing LadyLeader Retreats, I have a passion for supporting busy people with life balance and self care.  The cottage provides a further opportunity to develop this service by offering a quality base in a quiet corner of Aberdeenshire for short breaks or holidays.  The option to invest in some personal coaching, or to simply borrow books from a well stocked personal development library will be the icing on this particular holiday option cake.  Ideal for a Retreat for a single person, or a couple.  If you're interested in finding out more email pitmeddenbothy@btinternet.com.

Getting back to strategic refuelling, what steps will you take to step back from your busyness and ensure that you achieve success with balance?  What single action would be the first step in making this commitment to yourself?

Be like the flowing river

All things being equal my prefernce is always to be outside in the fresh air rather than inside.  This weekend I had a walk in the snow up around Crathes on Saturday.  The stream had developed into a river and was flooded in various places. 

Water is by it's very nature a fluid, passing form except when gripped by the extremes of cold.

Standing on the bridge looking at the water I was reminded of a poem that has come to mean a lot to me over the years.  It is a reminder that there can be moments of tranquil stillness far below the surface even when the surface itself is being battered by storms and wind... 

Be like the flowing river,

Silent in the night.

Be not afraid of the dark.

If there are stars in the sky, reflect them back.

If there are clouds in the sky,

Remember, clouds, like the river are water,

So gladly reflect them too,

In your own tranquil depths.

This poem was written by Manuel Bandeira, and I first came across it in Paulo Coelho's book, Like the Flowing River.

Rivers remind us of many things, but one of the things they remind us of is balance.  Still water, and crashing waves, deep water, and shallow ripples, droplets and mighty oceans.  If you were to describe your life as a river this morning, what kind of river is it?  Do you need to find a tranquil pool out of the current for a few minutes or hours?  If you do, write an appointment in your diary to do just that!

I'm conscious as I write that there are many whose lives have been changed irrevocably this morning as a result of the power and impact of water.  May they too find peace in their own tranquil depths.

More tiger tales - the full story

This picture was taken by me 10 days ago. It was taken with a standard lens; I was about 8 inches away from the tiger; there was no wire mesh between us; it was walking right across my line of vision and as you can see was completely ignoring me.  And yes it is very much alive!!!

So what am I not telling you?  All that came between me and this amazing animal was a piece of clear but toughened (I hope!) glass.

This simple addition to the story completes the context and gave me the assurance I needed to enjoy this dangerous cat; gave the tiger the signal that I was not up for grabs, and assures you that I have not gone walking with tigers.  Although I do have a friend who did just that in a monastery in Thailand, where the tigers have been hand reared and have never known threat from humans.  How amazing!

So, what stories are you telling yourself about your capabilities and your confidence.  And what part of the story are you leaving out...  Our beliefs are those things we hold to be true, and take for granted.  They are the scripts with which we run our lives.  If your beliefs about yourself are holding you back... invest in yourself and work with a coach who can help you to complete the story as you want it to be!

Year of the Tiger - Happy New Year

Happy New Year to everyone who is celebrating the beginning of the year of the tiger.

What a beautiful creature to symbolize the year.  I took this photograph about 10 days ago in Highland Wildlife Park - but more of that in a later blog. 

According to a Chinese Culture website, Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy.  However, they can be extremely short tempered.  Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in poor decisions or decisions arrived at too late!  They are suspicious of others but they are courageous and powerful.

It struck me yesterday that every single day can be an opportunity to declare the beginning of a New Year with all the opportunity and potential encapsulated in that thought.  Perhaps we could change the standard "Good Morning" greeting to "Happy New Year".  I wonder what response we would get from those we meet;  I wonder how it would change our own attitude to our activities and plans for the day?

All of this reminded me of a poem I was given several years ago when I had a serious and debilitating bout of post viral syndrome.  The sentiment of it was that every day is a day to begin again, to trust and feel love, and know that in all the confusion there is a gift to be found because anything can happen between yesterday and tomorrow.

So happy new day and happy new year and I hope for you that the day before tomorrow is significantly more joyful than the day after yesterday!

More tiger tales later this week...

 

Tycoon - book review

 

 

This book by Peter Jones is full of no nonsense wisdom for anyone who wants to grow a serious business.  It is equally interesting if you simply want to have a look into the mindset of a serial entrepreneur.  Part of it's appeal is the honesty of someone who has learned from his own mistakes how easy it is to loose a business, and yet has the courage to dust himself down and start over again.  The book is full of advice, memorable quotes, and tips - often numbered in an easy to remember format.

For example, Tycoon tips for success:

 

 

 

1. Avoid complacency

2. Learn from your own mistakes

3. Evaluate feedback continuously

4. Don't let overconfidence lead to over-indulgence

5. Feel your confidence flourish as you gain more feedback and equip yourself with more knowledge.

 

Not simply tips for running a successful business, but perhaps running a successful life!
  

Bloom where you are

A number of years ago I was privileged to live in Anstruther, an East Coast fishing village in the East Neuk of Fife.  When we arrived, we were delighted that the garden (with it's sea wall) had been planted out with vegetables and potatoes and we were welcomed by the words: "This is the only garden where you can grow your potatoes ready salted."  Bill had taken the time and made the effort to fill the garden, and in spite of the elements we did indeed enjoy the potatoes before the winter storms dumped some seaweed over the garden wall!

But interestlingly this photograph reminded me of Bill's wife Jessie.  One of her frequent sayings was "Bloom where you are."  This was not, as some would think, a fatalistic acceptance of life as it was, but in fact was the evidence of an adventurous and positive spirit that was determined to bloom and scatter joy and happiness wherever she was and whatever was happening.

The flowers in the photograph have obviously overcome the lack of nutrients in the soil resulting from the large old tree and its constant demand for water and feeding, but somehow they have just got on with being the best they can be right where they are, adjusting to the feeding and shade and perhaps even benefiting as a result.  So get blooming today, regardless of the environment in which you find yourself.  Choose to bloom where you are with confidence, and spread some joy and happiness as you go.

Where does the cream go?

Have decided to add a few snipets to my blog.  Not a full blown blog but just a thought which I'll share from time to time.

Last week I was listening to someone speaking about High Performing Teams and almost as an aside he commented "Cream always comes to the top!"  Perhaps its as a result of my fondness for cream in all its guises, or perhaps its got something to do with being brought up on a farm and remembering that awesome smell of warm fresh milk, or seeing the milk swilling around the large cooler tank with the cream indeed on top once the milk had settled: whatever the reason, this image has stayed with me over the last week.  Cream will come to the top - it's a natural process.  Although it won't happen until the milk is still.

Fun is an attitude

Young children can teach us a lot about how easy it is to turn something into fun!  If you can imagine the hearty uncontrolled laughter of a three year old, or can remember a time when you've being trying to keep a straight face as you tell off a child you'll know exactly what I mean.

A simple walk in the woods is turned into a game of hide and seek.  I think I'm hiding and it doesn't matter to me that you can actually see me!  It's a game and I'm having fun!

Perhaps as children we're predisposed to see the funny side of things and then somehow we loose this ability as we get older, or as we realise other people's persepctives might be somewhat different to our own.  So...  choose to create fun wherever you go, and ensure you have fun whatever you are doing today.  Even if you have a serious job to perform, or a difficult task to undertake - take a moment to see the funny side because FUN IS AN ATTITUDE!  You choose...

10 Tips for Email Control

So what do mushrooms and emails have in common?   Well the picture tells the story - it starts off with one, and before you know it you've got nine!  Also emails form a chain - they rarely come in ones... So here are my top 10 tips for email control.

1. Check email at pre-planned times each day - leave the responsibility with the sender to track you down if the matter is urgent.

2. Let people who email you regularly know that you are only checking your email twice a day - start to adjust their expectations.

3. As with paper mail - endeavour to 'touch' the email only once: open it, read it, then dump it, respond to it, or write it on your action list for later

4. Choose with care who you respond to immediately - this just conditions people to expect an immediate response from you and encourages them to contact you.

5. If it's of low level importance ignore it - don't engage in trivial communication

6. Turn the volume on your computer to mute so you are not constantly hearing email arrive in your inbox or simply close the software.

7. Check your email by sender and not the time and date - you can pre-decide the priority you give to each person.

8. When sending email try not to send several emails to one perso in any one day - that way YOU are responsible for inviting multiple responses! Rather save the email as a draft and add to it throughout the day, then send it towards the end of the day.

9. Avoid sending an email only to say 'thank you'.

10. Handle with care those emails to which you are only copied in, and discourage your team from including you in emails routinely unless there is a specific need for you to be included.  This can be challenged by sending a response which simply says 'relevance?' They will soon get the message!

And the bonus tip!...

Time how long you are spending dealing with emails and multiply it by your hourly rate (ie. annual salary divided by 46 [weeks minus leave] x 35 [no. of hours per week] = hourly rate.

What is your top tip for email control?  Leave a comment by simply clicking on the comments link.

How calm and balanced are you feeling at this moment?

If you've already arrived at work this morning you will have a very recent experience of the skills required to maintain calm and balance - particularly if you have travelled a journey through the latest snow and ice!

You may have cleared the car of snow - only to find the snow was covering an inch of ice now to be scraped;  you may have taken your children to nursery only to find the staff hadn't arrived or the nursery wasn't opening because of the weather (plan B??); you may have finally arrived at your place of work to discover the office is freezing because it's been empty over the holidays...

Of course you may be sitting perfectly calm and knowing that every area of your life is in perfect balance and harmony.  If you are - enjoy!

If not here are 3 things you can do to create more calm and balance.

1. Review you achievements over the last 10 years - small and large, significant and insignificant, what you've achieved for yourself, and what you've achieved for others.  Smile and say "Well done!"

2. Create regular time 'just for you' even if that has to be locked in the bathroom with an ipod blocking out all unwanted sound.

3. Put a 10 minute walk into every day - no compromise because you're too tired, or it's raining... just get out there and walk for 10 minutes!

And if you want to look more seriously at gaining calmness and balance in the midst of your busy life, sign up for one of the remaining places on our next LadyLeader Retreat on 20/21st February - two days to help you be more calm and have more balance.   Because you can't lead others until you've worked out how to lead yourself! 

You'll often hear the phrase "Pay yourself first" in relation to creating savings and developing a personal financial strategy.  The idea is to create balance between spending and saving.  Perhaps this year you can apply this to your own wellbeing by changing it to "Balance yourself first".  Nurture your own sense of calm and well-being before you try to nurture others, whether these others are family members, friends, or work colleagues.

Have a wonderful and balanced 2010!

 

Choose Balance in 2010

Whether you're a ladyleader because you lead yourself, a family, a business, a team or an empire... choose balance in 2010!  And I'm not just banging on about the cliched type of work/life balance chat that says you can have it all and it's easy!

Creating balance in your life requires attention and effort because if you want balance you have to master a number of complex skills and techniques.  You also have to know where your boundaries are, nourish them well and be clear about their purpose.  As I've said in this blog before, balance is an active, fluid, thoughtlful approach to competing demands and pulls.  It is not a static plot on a personal journey.  However, you will only ever manage to balance your life when you are clear about your personal values and beliefs, purpose and important goals. 

After all balance is about maintaining equilibrium, staying poised, remaining upright, keeping steady... and of course having the occasional wobble is part of learning the skill.  So set out your Balance Charter for 2010, and if you write one up I'd love you to share it with me.

And of course if you'd like some help to get you started join us on one of our LadyLeader Retreats in 2010.  There's still time to book for February - join us on the 'ultimate time for me' event.

Wishing you a Happy, Balanced and Fulfilled 2010.

Hoping for a white Christmas?

Well, if you live anywhere in the UK it's possible you will have it!  I finally decided to dig my car out this morning.

Hope is a word I've become interested in this year.  Like many words, I've known its meaning for many years, but isn't it true that sometimes you see something familiar and it's like you're seeing it for the first time.

For me hope is a positive word. 

Not a 'hope for the best with a grimace' kind of approach, but a 'hope for the best with an inner peace' approach.

So as you enjoy Christmas, whatever that means to you, and ponder the year that stretches before you, consider the following words written by Nancy V Sims:

Do not dismiss your dreams  

To be without dreams

Is to be without hope

To be without hope

Is to be without purpose

Do it anyway!

How many times do you have a great idea and then within 20 seconds you've come up with at least four reasons why you shouldn't do it!

I guess we've all done this and then wondered what would have happend if only we had gone with our instincts...

I can across this poem today and thought I would share it with you.  As you think about the year that's quickly coming to an end, and the promise of all that 2010 holds perhaps we should all just decide to Do it Anyway!

 

Anyway

People are unreasonable, illogical,

And self-centred

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you

Of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you re successful, you will win some

False friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,

People may cheat you’

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,

Someone could destroy overnight,

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness

They may be jealous’

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,

People will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,

And it may never be enough’

Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,

It is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway. 

Anonymous – found on the wall of Mother Teresa’s office

Communication which is 8 years too late!

Today an amazing thing happened.  I received a Christmas card intended for the previous owner of our house.  A common occurrence you might think at this time of year.  However, we've owned this house for 8 years and we bought it on the death of the previous owner!

Every year since a Christmas Card has arrived from Janey to the previous owner.

 

I'm struck by the fact that someone is faithfully sending a card, but has not taken the trouble to do more than simply send a routine Christmas Card over an 8 year period.  I can't decide if I admire the diligence, or whether I'm troubled by the complete lack of evidence of care which goes beyond the motions of saying Merry Christmas.  Some years ago a colleague of mine decided to make Christmas phone calls, which she did using her Christmas Card list, rather than simply send cards.  A great way of ensuring she kept meaningful contact and ensuring that she hadn't just fallen into a meaningless routine communication.

So how confident are you that your communication is reaching its intended destination?  Perhaps the moral to this little tale is that if the message is worth sending, it's worth checking the receiver is capable of hearing it!

What a wonderful world!

What a wonderful world we live in!

 

This  picture is a fire rainbow - the rarest of all naturally occurring atmospheric phenomena.  The picture was captured on the Idaho/Washington Border and lasted about 1 hour.  Clouds have to be cirrus, at least 20,000 feet in the air, with just the right amount of ice crystals and the sun has to hit the clouds at precisely 58 degrees.

This is just one of the miracles of our world.  What an amazing range of circumstances all had to collide to give us this incredible picture.  Be amazed at the amazing circumstances which have brought your life to this one place, on this one day, in this amazing world!  And enjoy every moment of your amazing life.

Focus on all the good things you have enjoyed over the last day (or week), and write them down in a long list - and when you run out of paper just sit and be thankful that you live in an amazing world!

 

All work no play - or playful work?

I wonder what your work/play ratio is.  Take a moment and think about the amount of time your are thinking about work, doing work, in work mode, and compare it with the time you are thinking about play, playing and in play mode.  And write it down as a ratio.  What do you see?  How do you feel about the ratio?  Are you happy with it or would you like to change it?

I was reminded on Friday afternoon of something I had written down a few months ago.  How would you behave if your were Donald Duck?  And remember, "the playful state is available".  In other words I can choose my 'state' and I can choose how I respond to my day and my 'to do' list!  What an empowering thought.

So this morning... the playful state is available.  How will your day be different if you choose to approach it in a playful state?  As for me I'm off to do my end of year accounts...playfully!

Every picture tells a story

If I were to ask you to write the story of this picture I wonder what you'd say.  Is there a storm coming or has the storm passed?  Is the wind cold, or is it a balmy warm day?  Is it morning or afternoon? Where is the location?  What took the photographer there in that particular moment? Were they alone?

If someone were to take a snapshot of your business right now what story would it tell?  And more importantly if someone had taken a short video of your activity over the last week what could they tell me about your business?

This week I've been pondering the balance between being the business product and the business owner, the balance between doing the business and developing the business.  It's an interesting ratio and one that is useful to come back to from time to time.  In terms of getting life balance where we want it to be every picture does tell a story.  Balance is not a fixed state - and if you ever want to check that out watch someone on a high wire.  They don't stand still in a fixed position of balance.  There is movement and flexibility, sometimes leaning one way and sometimes the other.

So this morning, or put an appointment with yourself in your diary for some time in the next few days, consider the two questions.  What would a snapshot of your business right now tell someone? Then re-run a video in your imagination of yourself over the last week and ask - what does that tell me about my business?  And if your feel inclined, conclude with the question: How can I improve balance in my business?

The ultimate 'time for me' event

Welcome to the LadyLeader Retreat Blog.

LadyLeader Retreats were founded to offer busy women a regular two day opportunity to step out of the busyness and enjoy a relaxed and nurturing programme tailored to each individual guest.

Choose from a range of spa treatments, small group sessions, individual coaching on a range of topics, with full use of the leisure facilities and opportunities for quiet and reflection, and good company and fun.

All our Retreats are held in Scottish Castle Spa Hotels and are restricted to a maximum of 12 guests.  And we use the word 'guests' because that is what you are!  From the moment you arrive until you leave nothing is too much trouble and our guests have been delighted with the small additions we provide.

As one of our guests said "it's the ultimate time for me event" and in order to allow as many women to enjoy a Retreat as possible we have kept the costs low.  For only £99 per month - you can enjoy three LadyLeader Retreats a year.  We know you are worth it! 

Forthcoming Retreats will always be detailed on our blog, and if you are interested in an exclusive Retreat for an existing group of women please contact us as we are delighted to provide a Retreat for a minimum group of 6.

We hope you will also enjoy our Blog and we are always happy to have your comments on our blogs.

 A subscription to our 2010 LadyLeader Retreats costs:

• £35 per month for one Retreat
• £65 per month for two Retreats
• £99 per month for three Retreats with additional opporutnities

WE THINK YOU'RE WORTH IT - DO YOU?

Contact us for more details by email or by telephoning 44 (0) 1224 323302 or 07789 172151 

Peaks and Valleys

Have just finished Spencer Johnson's little book Peaks & Valleys.  Over the last few years there have been a number of books of this type - what I call parables.  We've had books like Who Moved my Cheese (also by Spencer Johnson), various books by Paulo Cohello, and The Monk who sold his Ferrari to name a few.

I generally enjoy the philosophical approach of these books which leave the reader with principles which can be applied, ponderings to muse, and some ideas to apply.

So how does this little book compare?

Well like other books of this genre, it has some great one liners and some little nuggets to think about. For example, "the purpose of the Peak is to celebrate life, and the purpose of the Valley is to learn about life", or "A Valley is a time when you long for what is missing...and a Peak is a time when you appreciate what you have." The overall structure of the book was I thought a little tired and not as fresh as some others but perhaps this is because I've now read a number of books of this kind and so the freshness has gone out of them.  But it's definitely worth a read at only around 100 pages. 

What it does well is remind us that life is a journey of a myriad landscapes.

Inspiring women - Women Entrepreneurs Day

I have worked over the years with a number of women focussed organisations and women led organisations.  I have also worked with women leaders in a variety of sectors.

One of the things to be celebrated over this period has been the shift from women leaders as 'men in skirts' to women leaders who are comfortable and confident with a feminine leadership style.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the large numbers of women who are leaving employment to set up their own businesses.  You just need to look at the number of women's networking opportunities and websites to see how this is mushrooming.

So, who are the women who have inspired you to be what you are?  And what particular women are your role models for the business your are running, or the role you aspire to?

I spent 10 years in Home-Start - an organisatsion which supports families with young children.  There I met many women who inspired me, whether they were mums striving to be resourceful for their children, volunteers offering time and a listening ear to stressed parents, staff who were juggling their own lives with the demands of a busy and demanding role.  Many of them inspired me.

I also think of my own mother who spent a large part of her adult life coping with the demons of a significant and recurring mental health problem that robbed her of her functional ability, yet in her periods of wellness she strived (and managed) to add care and affection to those with whom she came into contact.

Then there are of course women in the public eye who have inpired me.  Women like Mother Theresa, Tanni Grey-Thompson, and many more.

So what about women entrepreneurs??  Who are the women entrepreneurs who inspire you?  What inspires you about them? And if you could be inspiring other women entrepreneurs how would you be doing it?

Look forward to your comments.  Go on, click on the comments link and share your views.

Free Yourself from Fears

As an NLP Practitioner, I've read a few of Joseph O'Connor's books.  Perhaps that's why I had a feeling with this one that I had read some of it before (!!) and although the book has good exercises in it, I did feel he was perhaps using material from a variety of places and it was a bit repetitive.

However, it is written in an easily understandable format and there are plenty of exercises in it.  It's an interesting read for anyone who wants to move forward with some fears that may be holding them back, although I think you would find it more useful to work with a live NLP Practitioner. It's certainly a good resource for practitioners, who may find Part 1 particularly interesting. 

The power of the written word and the fragility of life

When did you last read a book which kept you out of bed at night, and kept you in bed in the morning?  This one did it for me!

Having read the earlier two books over the summer I was delighted that this one came out in paperback just as I was going on holiday.  All three books were a great read and I guess I read them with a certain level of disappointment that Stieg Larsson died not knowing what great characters he had created in Salander and Blomkvist.  It seems almost insensitive to be enjoying his brilliant books in the wake of his untimely early death...

That made me think about two things.  One the power of the written word; and two the unpredicability of life.  As a coach I often ask clients to write things down.  There is something different about seeing something in print from something which has been rattling around in your head.  It gives clarity and a certain distance from the issue being explored.  As far as unpredictability goes - the more aware we are of the fragility of life the more we may get a sense of the spirit of John Denver when he wrote "for the moment in hand is the only thing we truly own". 

So in keeping with the purpose of this website which is "helping you to achieve success with balance" I'm posing my readers a question:  When did you last take time to ponder with gratitude all that you have in this moment?  Take a piece of paper and write down 10 things you are grateful for right now, and if you're feeling really adventurous add at least three things to the list every day for the next week.

And if you're feeling brave as well as adventurous, click on the comments for this blog and tell me what you are truly grateful for in this moment!

Breaking down walls

I wonder if you like me were surprised to learn that it is 20 years today since the amazing pictures we saw of the Berlin Wall coming down.  It was astonishing how quickly it was removed - and people everywhere were looking to take a piece of it to symbolise the end of a regime and the beginning of a new era.

It got me thinking this morning about other walls that exist in our society... and the diversity agenda.  But of course we now know that it easier to dismantle a physical wall that represents repression than a barrier caused by direct or indirect discrimination.  The difficulty about these wall is that they become an insidious part of the landscape and sometimes we fail to even see them for what they are.

So I'm challenging everyone who reads this blog (including myself!) to find and challenge at least one of these walls today in support of those who are unable to make their own voice heard.

Stress - give it away!

Today is the last day of our focus on stress reduction.  Over the week I hope you've enjoyed the ideas and tips and have given yourself quality time, space, reflection, planning and thinking.

So what have we kept for tip number five.  The picture above is a single beautiful flower but it is full of the potential needed to generate seeds for more plants and over time could populate a whole field of beauty.

Today we're keeping it simple.  Make giving a life art!  Quietly, spontaneously and creatively give something back.  Take pleasure in giving your time, your money, your effort, your energy, your sense of fun, some flowers, some chocolates, an anonymous gift, a card or a letter, or a significant donation to a cause or charity you think could benefit from your gift.  Before the end of the day take time to give something away and you may find that the joy and satisfaction is a great stress reducer.  Taking the time to focus on something or someone else can often put our stresses into perspective.

So write down on a piece of paper right now what you are going to give away before the end of the day... and plant the first seed that could grow to become the first flower in your field.  Then make giving a life art and turn your plant into a fantastic field of flowers.  And just watch your stress level drop.